Monday, May 07, 2007

Divorce : Future tense of marriage.

My wife says my sex drive has taken up walking.

My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden.

If he asks what sort of books you're interested in, tell him cheque books.

I keep saying no to drugs, but they won't listen.


Endless Love:
Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles playing tennis.

Lecture : The art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through the minds of either.

Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.

Q. What's a mixed feeling?
A. When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.