Thursday, June 07, 2007

Wedding and Marriage Jokes

Married life is full of excitement and frustration :
- In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.
- In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.
- In the third year, they BOTH speak and the NEIGHBOURS listen

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There was this lover who said that he would go through hell for her. They got married, and now he is going through HELL.

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When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife.

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This couple were married for 67 years.
The husband was asked ; if in all those years had they ever thought of divorce.
"Heavens no" he replied.
"Murder yes, but never divorce."

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Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

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"Why Men Can't Win"
If you appreciate the female form and frilly underwear, you are a pervert.
If you don't, you are a fag.

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Mickey:- I want a divorce
Minni :- Are you f***ing crazy!?
Mickey :- naaaaa ..I'm f***ing Daisy

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Getting married is very much like going to the restaurant with friends. You order what you want, and when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.

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If you really want to live a long life....get married!!! After that you won't want to any more.