Monday, July 23, 2007

Big Little Johnny Humour

Johnny looked into the mirror one night,
And sadly he shook his blond head.
Johnny got down on his knees and he prayed
Before he got in to his bed."Father, bless Daddy and Mummy I pray,
And Father bless little bro Freddy.
Father bless Rover and my hussy, Spunk,
And don't forget Rastus, my teddy.
Father, please make me a good boy, and bless
My friends and my teachers at school.
And Father please make me grow big as Jim Hess
'Coz I reckon that would be cool!O Father, I hate being skinny and small
And laughed at by all the big blokes.
And, Father, I never get picked for their teams,
I'm always the butt of their jokes!O Lord, how I wish I was bigger than them
Like an elephant or a giraffe.
O Lord, how they'd freak and then run for their lives,
Then I'd be the one who would laugh!Or Father, imagine if I was real HUGE
Like Kossie* or Mount Everest.
Then Father, they'd all have to look up to me,
And say, then, that I was the best.
Oh yeah, Lord, and may all the glory be Yours
In Your name Lord Jesus, Amen.
And thanks, Lord." he prayed and then got In to bed,
Not fretting about it again.
Gabriel listened from heaven and grinned.
He spread his great wings and he flew.
Gabriel landed by Johnny and said:
"I'm Gabriel, mate, how are you?"Johnny looked up and he said "I'm OK."Said Gabe "I'm from Heaven, you know.
Johnny, we heard that you want to grow big.
Let's see if we can give it a go.
But, Johnny, we first gotta talk to those hulks
And ask if they'd give us some clues.
'Coz, Johnny, they'll tell what it's like to be huge."
(For you adults, their called "Interviews".)
Then Gabriel said "Yeah, but hang on a tick,
Those P.J.s and Ugg boots won't do!"And Gabriel said "Get some gum boots as well,
It's grotty and wet at the zoo."
So Johnny and Gabriel flew there at once.
Old Jumbo was off on his break.
Since Johnny and Gabriel wouldn't eat hay
He offered them coffee and cake.
Old Jumbo sat back when they asked what he thought.
"Being big has its ups and its downs.
A Jumbo's opinion can carry some weight,
When you get in a punch-up with clowns.
But elephants, they don't get much of a chance
When playing a game of test cricket.
An elephant, running, must pull up his pants,
And goes out for crushing the wicket."Johnny was shocked, for he just could not bear
To be too big to play in a game.
"Johnny," said J. "Have a word with big Jezz,
I think that he'll tell you the same.""Giraffes" said big Jezza "can do good slam dunks.
They can watch the Big Game without paying.
But 'raffs are quite useless at tiddly winks.
We're too big if that's what you're saying."Then Gabriel said "Thanks fellas! That helps."And he waved and he gave them a wink.
"Hey, Gabes!" they both answered "No worries, old mate!
Drop in any time for a drink."Johnny and Gabriel flew off again
To the summit of Aussie's Mount Koz*.
Johnny was thinking perhaps after all
He'd be better to stay as he was.
He looked down the mountain and said "What's the point,
My classmates can't see me so high!""Too right!" said the mountain "It's lonesome up here.
It's good of you blokes to drop by."Said Johnny to Gabriel "OK, I see.
I'll stick to size "Small Men's" instead."Said Gabe to young Johnny "Good lad, you've got nous.
I'll drop you back home to your bed."

From Sharond1