Monday, July 02, 2007

You know you've had a bad day when...

Your new lover calls to tell you "Last night was terrific." and you remember that you were home by yourself.

Everyone is laughing but you!!

Your horn sticks on the freeway behind 32 Hell's Angels.

You call suicide prevention and they put you on hold.

Your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candles.

Your twin sister forgets your birthday.

You have to sit down to brush your teeth in the morning.

You start to put up the clothes you wore home from the party last night ... and there aren't any.

It costs more to fill up your car than it did to buy it.

You wake up to the soothing sound of running water ... and remember that you just bought a waterbed.

Everyone avoids you the morning after the company office party.

You wake up and your braces are stuck together.

You call your answering service and they tell you it's none of your business.

Your blind date turns out to be your ex-wife/ex-husband.

Your income tax refund check bounces.

You put both contact lenses in the same eye.

You compliment the boss' wife on her unusual perfume and she isn't wearing any.

You call your wife and tell her that you would like to eat out tonight and when you get home there is a sandwich on the front porch.

The restaurant check has been on the table for ten minutes ... and no one has touched it.

You go on your honeymoon to a remote little hotel and the desk clerk, bell hop, and manager have a "Welcome Back" party for your new spouse.

Airline food starts to taste good.

Your mother approves of the person you are dating.

Your doctor tells you that you are allergic to chocolate chip cookies.

Your cat abandons the nice box you prepared for her and has her kittens in your dresser drawer.

Everyone loves your driver's license picture.

You realize that the phone number on the bathroom wall of the bar is yours.

The gypsy fortune teller offers to refund your money.

People think you are 40 ... and you really are.