Bart Simpson Quotes

The true meaning of Christmas
Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa.

Santa's little helper

Bart: What's Santa's Little Helper doing to that dog? Looks like he's trying to jump over, but he can't quite make it.

Bart's prank call to Australia
[Stepping in front of the TV]
Bart: Hey guys, just so you don't hear any wild rumors, I'm being indicted for fraud in Australia.
Homer: Pfft. That's no reason to block the TV.

What did Bart write on Homer's butt?
Wide Load
Bart Simpson's Property
Insert brain here

On Millhouse
Bart to Milhouse: How can someone with glasses so thick be so stupid?

On your soul
Bart: Well if your souls real where is it?

Milhouse: It's kinda in here... and when you sneeze, that's your soul trying to escape. Saying god bless you crams it back in. And when you die, it squirms out and flies away!

Bart: What if you die in a submarine at the bottom of the ocean.

Milhouse: Oh, it can swim, it's even got wheels, in case you die in the desert and have to drive to the cemetery.

Being Catholic
Bart: Mom, can we go Catholic so we can get communion wafers and booze?