Tuesday, May 30, 2006

For My Married Friends

Every man should get married some time; after all, happiness is not the only thing in life!!
--Anonymous


Bachelors should be heavily taxed. It is not fair that some men should be happier than others.--Oscar Wilde


Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper.
--Scottish Proverb


I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.


A psychiatrist is a person who will give you expensive answers that your wife will give you for free.
--Anonymous

Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't, they'd be married too.
--H. L. Mencken

Men have a better time than women; for one thing, they marry later; for another thing, they die earlier.
--H. L. Mencken

Marriage is a three-ring circus:
--engagement ring
---wedding ring
---suffering

When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife.

I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding
her way back to home.
--Anonymous


I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?" She said,"Somewhere I have never been!" I told her, "How about the kitchen?"
--Anonymous


We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.


My wife was in beauty saloon for two hours.
That was only for the estimate.
--Anonymous

A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly parted mother and started back toward his car when his attention was diverted to another man kneeling at a grave. The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity and kept repeating, 'Why did u have to die? Why did you have to die?" The first man approached him and said, "Sir, I don't wish to interfere with your private grief, but this demonstration of pain in is more than I've ever seen before. For whom do you mourn so deeply? A child? A parent?"The mourner took a moment to collect himself, then replied "My wife's first husband."


A couple came upon a wishing well. The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny. The wife decided to make a wish, too. But she leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned. The husband was stunned for a while but then smiled " It really works ! "