Monday, May 15, 2006

Quick Laughs

The Heineken Uncertainty Principle
It is impossible to remember both the number of beers which were consumed last night and the pub in which each was consumed.

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"What do use for washing dishes?"
"Oh, I tried many things but found my husband best."

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"How is your wife getting along on her reducing diet?"
"Fine. She vanished last night."

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My wife is always talking about a trip to Europe.
I have no objections - I let her talk.

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A drunk was hauled into court. Mister, the judge began, you've been brought here for drinking.

'Great', the drunk exclaimed. 'When do we get started?'

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A person who surrenders when he's WRONG, is HONEST.

A person who SURRENDERS when not SURE, is WISE..

A person who surrenders even if he's RIGHT, is a HUSBAND.!

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Q : Why do men die before their wives?
A : They want to.