Quick Laughs

The Heineken Uncertainty Principle
It is impossible to remember both the number of beers which were consumed last night and the pub in which each was consumed.

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"What do use for washing dishes?"
"Oh, I tried many things but found my husband best."

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"How is your wife getting along on her reducing diet?"
"Fine. She vanished last night."

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My wife is always talking about a trip to Europe.
I have no objections - I let her talk.

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A drunk was hauled into court. Mister, the judge began, you've been brought here for drinking.

'Great', the drunk exclaimed. 'When do we get started?'

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A person who surrenders when he's WRONG, is HONEST.

A person who SURRENDERS when not SURE, is WISE..

A person who surrenders even if he's RIGHT, is a HUSBAND.!

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Q : Why do men die before their wives?
A : They want to.

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